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She hadn't realized it, but she had been missing her family much morethan she thought she would. Maybe it was because they could come and seeher so much more easily than they could before.She asked mom if he would be there in time for the cookout that afternoonand he assured her that they would be there in plenty of time and askedher if she wanted them to bring anything. Jenny gave him a short list andthanked him. Her little kitchen was limiting in more ways than just itssize and she appreciated mom's offer.About seven the next morning she was just getting up and around when sheheard the sound of mom's car pulling into her lot. She put down the mugshe was holding on the counter and dropped a tea bag into it beforequickly pouring some hot water over it. She left it to steep and went outthe door to meet them.Amelia was just getting out of the passenger side when she stepped out.She looked at Jenny and her face seemed to relax a little and brightenseeing her. "I thought you'd have that. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At any point in any day, I would burst into tears. The loss of control I felt when these tears smothered me, scared me to death. I could be in my car driving in traffic to work, and suddenly this overwhelming ache would move up my shoulders, up the back of my neck and culminate in floods of tears. I’d arrive at work only to tell them I couldn’t cope and then.
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